A Window into My LIfe

To provide a glimpse of who I am- you can choose to respond or move on- kind of like window shopping. . .

Friday, September 29, 2006

Slump

I feel like the St. Louis Cardinals in their recent losing streak...I'm in a slump. My slump, though, is more serious than being first in my division and on a 7 game losing streak. I am in a church slump!!!

I joined Bellevue in February and knew it was the right place to be. The pastor, Steve Gaines, is an amazing teacher; the choir is so worshipful and a great place to sing...so why am I in a slump? Sunday School (aka Bible Fellowship). I have had a hard time meeting people and making friends in Sunday School and it has caused me to rethink whether Bellevue is the right place for me to be.

Let's dissect this situation...I would say that I am 55% to blame for my current predicament and that 45% of the situation is beyond my control (now I fully realize it is probably 100% my fault, but I take some comfort and my current status of pity party to share some of the blame).

My fault- (Reason 1) I enjoy traveling. Sometimes I have to travel due to work obligations. Sometimes I travel to visit family and friends. Often, I am gone over the weekend. This puts me at a disadvantage because I am not at church on a regular basis and it is difficult to move from the "acquaintance" phase of a relationship to the "friend" phase. (Reason 2) I have gotten into a bad habit of not going to church on Sunday evenings. I typically have something every night of the week and Sundays are my night to decompress (I could claim I am taking Sabbath seriously but I'm sure that wouldn't fly). (Reason 3) Being 30, I don't quite fit in with the 30's class since most of the ladies are 35+. I have been going to the 20's class because I feel that the girls are closer to my age. Some, though, are 8-10 years younger and it is hard to make that connection. (Reason 4) Just like in a dating relationship, I feel that for people to become friends, there needs to be a "chemistry" between them. I have not found that "chemistry" with too many of the people in the Singles group. Maybe I am giving off bad pheremones.

Not my fault- (Reason 1) Due to the size of Bellevue, if a person wants to be "accepted" into the Singles department, they pretty much have to be at church every Sunday morning and night and attend every Singles functions. Because they are use to SO many visitors coming through the church, it takes them awhile to accept that someone is going to stick around for awhile. (Reason 2) One of the church's biggest flaws is that it does not have a structured inreach program. I haven't been to Sunday School in over a month and no one has called me to see how I am going- and I am a member of the class.

So what does this all mean? I wrote all this to ask for your prayers. Please pray that my spirit will be renewed and that God will show me whether Bellevue is the right place for me. I miss the Christian friends and involvement that I had at SHBC and want to find that again here. My slump has affected my prayer life as well and I need to be in prayer now more than ever. Just pray that God will bring me out of this slump and that I will find the right church to be a member.